j-lyn's corner

So, verdict is a strained tendon on the outside of the foot. Assumption is (given the range of motion and pain tolerance) that the injury is very minor and the majority of the pain is just from the swelling.

I had the swelling "flushed out" by my massage therapist. That, combined with her usual sports massage (ouch).... I'm shaking and cold, my usual reaction to getting worked on.

Bruising is nearly gone and swelling is now minimal. With my compression sleeve on I can walk around pain-free. Things are looking promising! :)

Well, against doctors orders I went out for a run today. I was told if I *must* run to only run a mile. Oops. But really, I can't spend more time donning wool pants, beanie, sports bra, jacket, headphones, headlamp, compression sleeves, and running shoes to spend less time running than getting dressed. Oh, and it was all black. I suck at this road running thing.

The big question everyone is wondering is, how does it feel compared to Bryce? Bryce I was lucky enough to sprain an ankle 10 miles into a 100 miler, this time it was 10 days before. The area, type, and level of sprains are different. With Bryce pain was minimal for 50 miles but every step felt off, like it was just a bit out of place, and I spent hours focusing on form hoping to refrain from limping. This time pain was immediate. Tonighy however it was simply a little tender. Each landing/push off I could feel all the little muscles, tendons, and ligaments working in perfectly orchestrated movements- nothing was out of place or moving wrong. After a half mile the tenderness was gone.

That said, if I roll this over a rock, land wrong, or re-sprain it just once during the white rim it's going to hurt like no other and likely put me out. So, perfect landings are on the schedule! Since just doing ROM stretches I can slip my talus out of place (so unstable) I need to be careful.

I needed that run. I was going crazy. Not being able to cross-train (too close to 100 miler) and not being able to run... Mentally I needed it. Physically too. I think of an old physical therapist who loved to send me (injured) out running because I'd always come back better. She'd laugh, because that's not the way things are supposed to work, and say simply "your body really loves running."

Sure hope so. I get to do a lot of it soon!

It's hard to formulate the words to write a race report. I tried to write a blog post, but feel like what is "expected" of me is different than what I have to say. So, here's the rough draft of the blog post. I don't know what I'll end up posting.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To write about an experience is a pathetic attempt to use symbols to give form, shape-- something concrete even, to the intangible. Why then, try?

I knew with the crew I had, there'd be push on the social media side of the weekend. My pacers and crew consisted of social media managers, camera/tech geeks, gear junkies, ultra-running enthusiasts... It was really no surprise when the FB crew message thread turned to how to tell the story, what to highlight, etc. But I couldn't bring myself to comment on it. I could only think, what if I don't want to tell the story? "Qui plus sait, plus se tait?" What if I don't want to verbalize the 79,000 seconds that passed? What if I want to keep them forever dislodged in some private corner of myself?

Perhaps I should start with the hardest part of the 100 mile run. It wasn't finishing; it wasn't tuning out the blisters or nagging injuries. It wasn't running for hours dehydrated, vomit all over me, wishing for pain killers or salt. It was the night before it all began, sitting in a tent with 3 people I trust my life with. Where they shone lights and lamps and headlights on me, gave me a microphone, and forced me to talk. When all I wanted to do so badly was to curl up in my sleeping bag and pretend that I didn't exist.

It is ironic that the same inward anxiety that caused me to suddenly lose weight before the white rim and render me unable to intake calories is the same anxiety that fueled me when I was without any calories.

Is it selfish then, to want to keep my privacy? I understand why so many race reports focus on the hard facts. The numbers, the calories, the logistics. Those are easy. They create the spine of the story line. They give a lifeless shape to a story, that however difficult, is innately understood it must be told.

I want to share the intimate joy of the weekend. The abounding happiness, the times where I thought that no one save the soft, sweet red dirt I was bounding down could understand my irrational contentment and joy. I want to share the anxiety, the pain, and the stress from several areas of my life that caused my to lose 5% of my body weight in the weeks preceding the run and inadvertently caused me to be unable to digest food for the latter half of the run.

And at the same moment, I want to keep that all to myself. It's a part of me. The bright lights scare me.

FINALLY got to Mt. Olympus. Pleasant hike up with jun. Apparently he's famous. Hikers were gawking and knew his name, which of course I teased him about incessantly.

Legs are feeling great! Had some work done on the sore knee and it felt good but untrustworthy. Coming down I went back and forth between opening my stride in my awkward deer prance down and walking/waiting for my apparently famous friend.

3:20ish round trip.

Hoping to do more miles and peaks this weekend, and maybe I'll be ready for turnover for next week.

I was supposed to take today off. But how could I? What with the leaves skipping and whirling at my feet. Incredible. Somehow I've gone from "runner" to "addict that needs help."

AND since it's throwback Thursday.... I did update my blog. I think I'm not going to post those blog posts on social media. But this was fun, digging through my old journal to see what I wrote my first time on the white rim. I had only turned 18 a week or two before, was terribly awkward, and apparently even more introspective then than I am now.

Late night boys club run up Grandeur. I had called off my morning plans of VB w/my "Asian bestie".... was really bummed since it's been forever. But my toe got infected Wednesday night and I wanted to give the antibiotics some time. Friday night it was feeling a bit better (I could tolerate existing without pain killers) and since I had a rough evening at home I thought blowing off some steam and having fun would be the prefect cure. A little tylenol to take the edge off the toe pain...

What fun! The trees were glittering with moonlight on the recent dusting of snow. It was absolutely beautiful. I had fits of giggles every time one of the guys would slip, slide, or mutter profanities in fear on the ice coming down. The one or two times I almost slipped were more from giggles than from ice.

It took a solid 30 minutes of reading in a super hot bath to finally feel warm inside. I'm remembering the contradicting emotions of winter- in love with the twinkling beauty of it all, and feeling always, terribly, cold.

Bailed on ScottW last night because I started puking, and thought I had the flu that's been going around. I felt a lot better after throwing up, but glad I held off since I woke up feeling wrecked (just dehydration headache etc).

Decided to sneak out for a run since it's such a warm, sunny afternoon. REALLY didn't want to do CC, but since it was on my way back from church in Draper and I only had 15 miles til my fuel was empty (and I didn't bring a wallet) proximity was a big issue. :) Apparently the trails are in good shape still and all the mountain bikers know- had to have passed more than 20, wouldn't be surprised if it was over 30. Again, I'm promising I won't go back there til it's covered in snow. On a high note, I did see a mountain biker almost hit a deer. HA! Funniest thing ever. I almost felt bad for busting a gut at his surprised face as he slammed his brakes and missed the deer by an inch (and the two bikers behind him that crashed into him). I was on the other side of the deer on the trail, and saw the deer before it decided to dart across the trail. Bloody. Brilliant.

In other news... I know pound-wise I haven't lost a ton of weight (to be concerned about) but for my body size it's a lot... I'm down 7.5% of my body weight now in the last 4 weeks. While I don't mind my new and sudden stomach definition, I'm a bit concered about the sudden loss (especially since I'm not trying, and my miles are down.)

Oh, and after a fantastic 10 minute crying session (for no apparent reason other than my glycogen stores are down) I cheered myself up by inventing a "marathon of summits." It'd be a fun hard day with driving between the peaks. Starting at VB, then Mt Olympus, then Grandeur, then Wire. They're all doable trails with snow AND their mileage adds up to almost a perfect marathon. This is now slated for a wednesday. I shouldn't do this Wednesday (my glycogen stores are crap and I'm sick of my body eating itself... but no promises) and the week after I'll be in St.G, but the first Wed of Dec sounds prime.

VB w/ ScottW and Ku. Haven't seen my "best Asian" in a while so it was fun to catch up. Enjoyed a sunrise- the mountains were dark and crisply outlined in black, like a coloring book, against the bright colors behind. Pretty much an amazing way to start the day.

and now I lost a toenail.

farewell, little friend.

Had lunch with my BFF/ adopted nephew. I've missed him! We stopped talking for a couple years hoping his newly-wed wife would stop loathing me, but with no luck, decided to resume our friendship. :) People and circumstances change, but certain friendships don't. It's so nice when things just pick up where you left off.

So right after eating a massive carne asada burrito, I wanted to get in some "intro to not running ridiculously slow" miles, and since it was raining and I only had 40 mins til I had to be back at work, I hopped on the treadmill and did 4x800m repeats. Took the repeat part kinda slow (6:50-7:15 pace) but I don't want get injured by pushing too fast too quickly. 400m recovery jogs at a 9:20 pace.

Did a double Grandeur today. ZacM came for the first lap + some of the 2nd, but had to head out. I was excited to get the 3rd summit in, the weather was so pleasant, but coming down the 2nd time my IT band started hurting. I kept trying to convince myself I could tune it out.... but towards the end I couldn't even run down, so I bailed on it.

Went bouldering. Warmed up starting at v0 to see where I was. Flashed the v0, v1, v2, v3.... and the v4s were far too hard. Not bad, several years ago I was able to flash every v4 at the gym and project v6. I didn't flash all the v3s I tried, but I think I'll be back to that fairly quickly. I only lasted an hour and a half bouldering, my arm strength is gone. Saw the legend Steven Jeffries, and we caught up, it's been a few years. I was happy to hear he had just decided to move back to SLC a few days ago and would be setting at momentum now. His setting is stellar (pretty sure he's been setting longer than I've been alive) and I much prefer it to the usual momentum setting. Pretty much every problem I bothered to try today was set by him. Finished off with 20 mins of HIIT core.

climbing with Cherri---

warm up/10a for the lead belay cert for Cherri. She did great, but short-roped me terribly on every clip (rope came out 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch....) so she will have to try to pass the test another day. Oh well. So on to the TR wall. Onsighted both a 10c and 10d, 10d was on an overhang and had a lot of pinches, if I had to lead it I probably would've fallen from exhaustion a few moves from the top. Since I was on TR I somehow managed both.

Then bouldered. Helped Cherri with some v0s, worked on some v4s, and hit a couple v2s just cuz. Tried some unrated easy stuff in the cave. I can't rely on technique in there, it's pathetic how little I climb on a simple jug haul in the cave. Cherri keeps telling me, 1 month, I'll have it all back in one month... but I think it'll take at least 6mo.

North SLC loop (Jim's "Twin Towers" loop) with the SLC crew. Butt early, thanks to CMC who needed to hit the road after. It's been a while since I've ran with those guys. Nice and slow, I love seeing how much I can powerhike and still keep up with this group. My weird peroneal muscle issue started flaring, and I got a bit worried as we continued to gain elevation (since it feels worse coming down.) Somehow I just ran it off, after 4-5 miles it faded and didn't hurt anymore during the run.

After the loop Jacob and I added on the Twin Aves. He was tired (hasn't run much since Bear) but he let me push him a little on the way up, I had some energy and wanted to go faster, excited to come back and try to PR it now that my climbing legs are coming back. Took it really easy and slow coming down. I don't think I've done the Twins in daylight or without snow. Weird.

Felt pretty great for 4700+ vert and less than 2 wks after my first 100. Helpful that my weight has finally stabilized.

"Training"/speed+ base building starts next week.

I think. ;)

"Darling, sweet lover, won't you help me to recover?"

I've missed the Deer Fence trail. It was my first.... everything on trails. 1/2 marathon, marathon, night run, animal encounters, etc. I used to run this trail 4x/week. So everytime I come to Logan I run it.

My headlamp wasn't charged so I couldn't make use of my body's awesome 5am wake-up call. I helped with Thanksgiving prep and then went out. BRRRRR Logan is cold, especially on a shaded hillside.

8:39 AP, with the 1300+ vert, for me is moving well on trails. For some reason this is "recovery," maybe because it's using different muscles? Maybe because I'm not forcing pace, just doing what feels good? I don't know. I didin't go out to push, just wanted a light recovery run. Pleasant and cold--- hot tub time.

VB w/ Neasts. Sunny, warm, muddy, and pleasant. Neasts imparted wisdom on my young naive mind and I basked running downhill, relishing in feeling invincible.

It is so nice to be recovered.

Twins + Ted with WMW crew. Rolled ankle early, had to sit down and take it in for a moment. It seems that after I let pain overwhelm me, then not only accept it but love it, and love the sadistic nature of it, of feeling it.... then can I push away the pain and ignore it. Sometimes, I just gotta give it a tear before I can hide it away. Had to take it easy on the rocks and downhills (it was super unstable) and it swelled up a fair bit, but seems to be "ok."

Ran from the house we're staying at by Winchester (15 min N of St. George) to the Chuckawalla TH to meet a group of locals on a loop, then back. I had an episode with a sweet black lab following me (and I was running beside Hwy 18 and he kept darting into it in the dark, I was worried he was going to hit and some poor family was going to wake up Thanksgiving morning not only to a missing dog but a dead one). I ran into some young hunters by a suburb and convinced them to take the dog so he wouldn't continue to follow me.

Loop was most pleasant with new company, took it easy, then ran miserable miles of uphill paved trail back. Hip + ITB + achilles were screaming...??? 

Then hiking and climbing. It is of note that I warmed up by redpointing (and leading) a two pitch link-up of an (easy/juggy/slightly overhung) 5.10b. And my belayer/husband left a knot in the end of the rope so when I was pulling rope to rap and clean my pitches it complicated things til I realized his error.

Hiked up S Fork Canyon in Kolob canyon with the fam (through cold, dark snow). Belayed Ben + froze and hiked back. Yes, I'm counting my miles of carrying a heavy pack and hiking at a 5 year olds pace.

New blog post with StG pics:

http://jennilyneaton.blogspot.com/2013/11/that-alpine-glow.html

Started my Thanksgiving to New Years squat challenge (5,000 squats).

Gave up my long run morning to stay up til 3am chatting with a gf then once I did get up in the AM it was to skinny dip w/my hubby. Vacation sacrifices ;)

Only had an hour, ran through sand, always good to hop a fence that says 'no trespassing/ shooting range' right? Meandered up a water tower butte so I could feel like I summited something.